Watch North Korea near July 4th

Watch North Korea on or near the 4th of July- that's when they'll predictably fire their next excuse for an ICBM. I say that not because they pose a current clear and present danger with their rocket launches, but because they're really not good at it.

Frankly, there are high school kids in the Team America Rocketry Challenge who are better at launching rockets than North Korea. You see, these high school kids have to actually achieve results- North Korea has a hard time dealing with a simple bottle rocket. Oh sure, they launched that last one and the second stage failed, and it dropped harmlessly into the ocean- boy there's nothing more intimidating than large chunks of smoldering wreckage splashing into the water. Oh hey... but they learned sooooo much from that flight. Yeah- they learned that if you blow a big white noisemaker some political types may listen- but you have to blow it again every few months. They'd have been better off to contract with Pizza Hut to place their logo up the side of their poor excuse for an ICBM and then gain some cash because the whole world saw the video a zillion times.

Of course Japan is in fear that the North Koreans may fly one over their country. That makes sense! Hell I'd be afraid if North Korea flew a balsawood and paper anything over me. I'd advise the folks in Japan to pass out a bizillion hard hats and little Wile E. Coyote umbrellas to their citizens immediately.

Now "sources say" that the next one may be aimed at Hawaii- President Obama's home state. Gee, that could actually be good- maybe it'll wake him from his Jimmy Carter pacifist stooper and drive home the point that the world could be a dangerous place... that is... prior to the point where the bird breaks up and plops into the ocean.

What would be the best is if the next North Korean rocket goes the wrong way and comes down someplace, any place, in Red China. Wouldn't that be a hoot? Imagine the little North Korean tin horns trying to explain that they meant to point it at Obama... but it just went nuts... like the North Korean leader.

The other close targets that are actually on the US soil are San Fransisco and Alaska. If they're smart the North Koreans will aim for San Fran, home of the beloved Speaker of the House Nancy. She'll immediately move to send a trillion dollars to the North Koreans as reparation for our country getting in the way of their rocket- the obedient House Of Representatives will quickly approve the funds, which we'll have to borrow from China. If they take a shot and hit Alaska, however... big trouble... Alaskans shoot back.

No comments:

Post a Comment