As I write this some judge is reading the verdict in the trial of the two doinks who faked the Balloon Boy event a few months ago. You know... the one where they pretended that their kid was accidentally launched in a balloon that most of us looked at and said it could only loft about 20 pounds. Yet the 24/7 cable TV media picked it us as a real event and were totally suckered in. That Balloon Boy spoof is what I'm talking about here.
Turns out the parents are a pair of con-artists looking to audition in order to land a reality TV show.
If I were the judge, I'd give them a dose of their own medicine and my verdict reading would go like this...
Judge: Okay... I find you both guilty, and I sentence you to death by hanging, the sentence to be carried out immediately- bailiff... get a rope.
Defense attorney: Your honor, this is highly irregular!
Judge: So is the crime- the punishment there by fits the crime... bailiff, where's that rope?
Bailiff: Ummm *hurumph*
Judge: Don't hurumph me, I'm the Fu$%ing judge here, get a rope! Come on now, chop, chop... we have a lot of cases on the docket and a lot more idiots to hang, let's move along- take 'em out and swing 'em both, it's almost time to break for lunch.
Defense: Your honor- who will raise the children?
Judge: Turn the little nippers loose in the desert and let 'em raise themselves- they'll have a better chance than with these two.
Now you know why I'm not a judge.
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