This week the public was stunned when a Jetblue captain lost it and went off aboard an aircraft. The subject of pilots "losing it" is, in the aviation community, of similar ilk to sleeping in the cockpit. It happens, but we're never supposed to let the public know. Of course when a Section 8 runs screaming down the aisle it's a bit hard to hide.
That said, here is my best Section 8 story...
I was flying as a First Officer (FO) for a regional carrier in the Midwest. I'd passed up my first chance to make captain because the bid was for the Jetstream 3100 and I wanted nothing to do with that animal. So, I just held out for my chance to come up on the Saab 340. When that happened, however, my vacation bid had just come through and I'd been awarded two weeks back-to-back, in July! THAT never happens. But, if I kept my head down and waited it out, screw-scheduling may just not catch it and I'd get 14 days off in mid-summer. If, however, I took my captain's slot, I'd have to re-bid my vacation. I kept quiet and let "captain" slide past.
So, as summer started, I was the second most senior FO in the company and the number one FO in the northern system. Lots of guys went to captain ahead of me. Of course, as soon as I got out of captain's school, I'd leap-frog all of them anyhow- so, no loss as far as I was concerned. What was important was to protect that vacation bid. One side effect of being the number one FO was that I got top bid on lines, so I rode the sweet-line train all summer and into fall. Along the way, I also seemed to get assigned the newbee captains from down south off and on as well.
On one leg, we picked up a newbee in MSP to take him to CDR where he'd fly with me the next morning while my regular captain, Tim, went to do IOE with another newbee. He strapped into the jumpseat and we blasted off. As we're cruising along making small talk, he leaned over and asked, "Who's this guy I'm flyin' with tomorrow?" Tim looked at me and smiled- this newbee didn't know it was me. I casually reached up and flipped my ID over backward. Tim said, sluring my name, "Oh... Olzlwoski... oh man, didn't they warn you about him?" "No," the newbee murmured puzzled. "He's got a seniority number way higher than mine, how come he's not a captain yet?" "They won't let him." I answered. Tim played along, "Oh yeah, he's a real Section 8." The newbee put his head in his hands, "Don't tell me this man." he moaned. "He's a bad apple," I pressed, "He friggin' slugged a captain once." Tim went on, "They fired him, but the union brought him back." "Is he nuts or somethin'?" the newbee asked in a near panic. "That's puttin' it mildly." Tim sighed. "How nuts?" the newbee asked with growing concern. "He's worse than Brain." I quipped referring to a well-known company Section 8. "Aw shit," the newbee spit, "I gotta fly with this guy and I'm fresh otta IOE!" Tim, of course had to rub it in, "Just guard the crash axe with your knee." he said.
A few agonizing moments passed- then suddenly you could see that the newbee realized that he'd been had. He reached over and flipped my I'd back over and read my name. "You f#%kers." he laughed with relief.
GOTCHA!
After we explained about my vacation bid and my disdain for the Jetstream, he understood.
For those of you who may be wondering, I kept quiet until July 4th and the last leg of my trip before starting vacation. In fact, everyone in the system kept quiet and screw-scheduling did not catch on until we were on the ramp taxing in after that last leg. Then the local operations called the aircraft and tried to give us the message that I was to call screw-scheduling. For some reason, were were just not receiving that radio call... lots of static and stuff. I came off the aircraft and dashed directly to my UAL jumpseat home. These were the days before many of us carried cell phones- so I was GONE! The first day of my vacation screw-scheduling put 43 messages on my machine, 31 the day after and 22 the day after that. Too bad I just was not there so they could contact me and cancel the second week of my vacation. After vacation I put in my captain's bid and got a class two months later. I don't think that newbee ever forgave me for that GOTCHA, of course I was senior to him too.
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Aviation gone amok
Who and what is this?
This blog is by Wes Oleszewski, cartoonist and author who draws world's only aviation and aero-space editorial cartoon strip, Klyde Morris. In the aviation industry, anybody who is anybody has read Klyde Morris. Thus if you are in this industry and you have never read Klyde Morris, you are a nobody- and you must quickly visit klydemorris.com so that you may finally become a somebody.
Wes has been drawing Klyde Morris since 1978 stopping only to take part in a career as an professional pilot. After 3 different airlines and one corporate operation, he can now state flatly that he has had the privilege of working for 4 of the worst air carriers in the nation. Thus, he went back to cartooning.
Wes has been drawing Klyde Morris since 1978 stopping only to take part in a career as an professional pilot. After 3 different airlines and one corporate operation, he can now state flatly that he has had the privilege of working for 4 of the worst air carriers in the nation. Thus, he went back to cartooning.
He's also the author of more than two dozen books.
Aviation subjects, spaceflight subjects... it's all good!
Sometimes... okay... most of the time, Wes has more to say than can be said in a cartoon and so we have this blog.
Sometimes... okay... most of the time, Wes has more to say than can be said in a cartoon and so we have this blog.
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Use of this web site indicates your agreement to be bound by the below listed terms of use. Persons who do not wish to be bound by the stated terms of use are directed to not use this web site.
Terms of use:
1) COPYRIGHT All drawn images found on this web site that have been animated by Wes Oleszewski, or composite images created by that same author as well as text composed by that same author are protected by copyright Wes Oleszewski. No portion of any material presented on this web site may be reproduced for any form of publication without the expressed written permission of the copyright holder. Material that is equipped with a “print” function installed by the management of the web site is expressly intended for the reader’s private viewing only, and this “print” function does not imply or express any release of that printed material from the before stated copyright. Modification of any of the material protected by the above stated copyright is considered a violation of that copyright. The use of any of the material contained within this web site on any other web site or network of computers, other than those specifically contracted by the copyright holder, Wes Oleszewski, is prohibited.
2) SITE MANAGEMENT This web site is a production under the management of Klyde Morris Inc.
3) LINKED SITES Links to other web sites are presented for the convenience of our readers and neither Wes Oleszewski, nor Klyde Morris Inc. are responsible for the content on those sites.
4) CONTENT All content presented upon this web site is presented solely in pursuit of humor and the readers of the material are in no way bound to follow any dictates presented. All characters presented are fictional. None of the activities presented here should ever be attempted by actual persons and neither Klyde Morris Inc. nor Wes Oleszewski are in any way responsible for persons being injured or killed as a result of anything presented upon this web site. Both Klyde Morris Inc. and Wes Oleszewski advise that no one who may be influenced in any way should read any of the content of this web site- ever.
5) WARRANTIES To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, both Wes Oleszewski and Klyde Morris Inc. disclaim all warranties, implied or expressed, including- but not limited to- implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. All material contained in this web site is presented “as is” and without warranties of any sort. This disclaimer includes warranties of function and warranties of non-interrupted service, or service free of errors. Products that are advertised on this site are also not warranted by either Wes Oleszewski or Klyde Morris Inc. but are the sole responsibility of the advertiser. No warranty is given or implied that the contents of this site are free of viruses or other harmful content or elements. Neither Wes Oleszewski nor Klyde Morris Inc. shall be responsible or liable to any person, firm, corporation or organization for any loss, damage, injury, claim or liability of any kind or character based on or resulting from any information contained on this site, or by any service offered though this site.
6) GOVERNING LAW This agreements shall be governed in accordance with the laws of the State of Maryland, USA without regard to the place or places of its physical execution and performance. Actions of any sort brought against Wes Oleszewski and or Klyde Morris Inc. based on or resulting from these terms of use shall be brought exclusively before the Federal District Court, Southern Maryland or in a state court located in Anne Arundel County. If any term or provision of these terms of use are, for any reason, held invalid, such invalidity shall not effect any other term in the provisions. These terms of use contain the entire understanding between Wes Oleszewski, Klyde Morris Inc. and the users of this web site.
Terms of use:
1) COPYRIGHT All drawn images found on this web site that have been animated by Wes Oleszewski, or composite images created by that same author as well as text composed by that same author are protected by copyright Wes Oleszewski. No portion of any material presented on this web site may be reproduced for any form of publication without the expressed written permission of the copyright holder. Material that is equipped with a “print” function installed by the management of the web site is expressly intended for the reader’s private viewing only, and this “print” function does not imply or express any release of that printed material from the before stated copyright. Modification of any of the material protected by the above stated copyright is considered a violation of that copyright. The use of any of the material contained within this web site on any other web site or network of computers, other than those specifically contracted by the copyright holder, Wes Oleszewski, is prohibited.
2) SITE MANAGEMENT This web site is a production under the management of Klyde Morris Inc.
3) LINKED SITES Links to other web sites are presented for the convenience of our readers and neither Wes Oleszewski, nor Klyde Morris Inc. are responsible for the content on those sites.
4) CONTENT All content presented upon this web site is presented solely in pursuit of humor and the readers of the material are in no way bound to follow any dictates presented. All characters presented are fictional. None of the activities presented here should ever be attempted by actual persons and neither Klyde Morris Inc. nor Wes Oleszewski are in any way responsible for persons being injured or killed as a result of anything presented upon this web site. Both Klyde Morris Inc. and Wes Oleszewski advise that no one who may be influenced in any way should read any of the content of this web site- ever.
5) WARRANTIES To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, both Wes Oleszewski and Klyde Morris Inc. disclaim all warranties, implied or expressed, including- but not limited to- implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. All material contained in this web site is presented “as is” and without warranties of any sort. This disclaimer includes warranties of function and warranties of non-interrupted service, or service free of errors. Products that are advertised on this site are also not warranted by either Wes Oleszewski or Klyde Morris Inc. but are the sole responsibility of the advertiser. No warranty is given or implied that the contents of this site are free of viruses or other harmful content or elements. Neither Wes Oleszewski nor Klyde Morris Inc. shall be responsible or liable to any person, firm, corporation or organization for any loss, damage, injury, claim or liability of any kind or character based on or resulting from any information contained on this site, or by any service offered though this site.
6) GOVERNING LAW This agreements shall be governed in accordance with the laws of the State of Maryland, USA without regard to the place or places of its physical execution and performance. Actions of any sort brought against Wes Oleszewski and or Klyde Morris Inc. based on or resulting from these terms of use shall be brought exclusively before the Federal District Court, Southern Maryland or in a state court located in Anne Arundel County. If any term or provision of these terms of use are, for any reason, held invalid, such invalidity shall not effect any other term in the provisions. These terms of use contain the entire understanding between Wes Oleszewski, Klyde Morris Inc. and the users of this web site.