BREAKING NEWS- SPACEX PLANS FALCON 9BA

KLYDE MORRIS.COM was contacted by a SpaceX senior engineer, who requested to remain anonymous, and given the inside information on the rumored SpaceX Falcon 9 Bravo-Alpha launch vehicle said to be in the planning stages.

“What’s really important here at SpaceX,” the source said, “is how bad-ass a project is, or as we like to say- how Bravo-Alpha it is.”

Recently rumors have been floating around in the SpaceX fanboy community, of a new huge and amazingly powerful booster being designed called the Falcon 9 Bravo-Alpha.

“The Bravo-Alpha launch vehicle has been undergoing a lot of study,” the source confirmed, “just because it’s so Bravo-Alpha.”

According to fanboy sources on internet spaceflight forums, the Falcon 9 Bravo-Alpha will be a standard Falcon 9 1.1 booster with eight more Falcon 9s strapped around it in a cluster.

“It’ll be sort of like a Saturn IB,” the source explained, “only way, way more Bravo-Alpha. I mean we’re talkin’ 81 engines here, that’s 11.7 million pounds of thrust. Now that is so Bravo-Alpha that Elon tweeted us to just do it.”

KLYDE MORRIS.COM asked if making such a rocket was even possible?

“Who cares if it’s possible,” the source quipped, “at SpaceX we don’t even consider what is or isn’t possible all that’s important is how Bravo-Alpha it is.”

When KLYDE MORRIS.COM asked how soon SpaceX expected to have the new mega-booster ready to fly, the source explained that it should take five to seven years to fully design, build and test the vehicle, so Elon gave them eight months to get it done.

“Each of the nine cores will be fly-back, reusable stages.” the source told KLYDE MORRIS.COM.

When asked where SpaceX planned to land these nine returning rocket stages, the source simply shrugged and stated that they would probably just bulldoze and cement over a couple more of those old Atlas launch complexes at Cape Canaveral.

Of course the question remains, what would such a huge booster be used for?

“Like that matters?” the source chuckled.

Asked how SpaceX will fit this Falcon 9 Bravo-Alpha into their perpetually overloaded launch schedule, the source replied,

“We’ll probably do it the way we do everything else. We’ll fly a few more Falcon 9 1.1s, then scrap that vehicle in favor of the Falcon 9 Heavy and after a few flights we’ll scrap that for the Falcon 9 Bravo-Alpha.”

As KLYDE MORRIS.COM asked the source if the real reason for having the huge Falcon 9 Bravo-Alpha was to loft all of the heavy payloads needed to assemble a real Star Wars Millennium Falcon in space that Elon Musk can fly himself, our source suddenly vanished in a brilliant flash of light before he was able to answer.